I think I might be a murderer...
Those of you who know me are well aware of what an animal lover that I am. I've been known to pull over on the side of the road to rescue a dog. I've been volunteering for dog rescue for more than five years now. I would never buy a puppy and boycott pet stores that sell them. My eighth grade yearbook even said this about me:
Can you imagine Chrysanthemum hating animals?I know what you're thinking... Come on, it was eighth grade!
Anyways, for the past couple of winters, the area under our garage has become a winter den for a skunk. The whole garage stinks when he's around and even the car smells (the smell goes away fairly quickly...). We looked into ways of removing it, but they all involved euthanizing the skunk, which I couldn't bring myself to do. We decided to peacefully coexist with it and put up with the smell a couple of months out of the year.
Now what I am about to tell you is kind of scary when you think about it, but is a testament to just how incoherent that I am at the ungodly hour I wake up for work.
So, this past Monday I go outside to start my car and get the heat and heated seats cranking so that I have a nice and toasty car to get into for my drive in. The smell of skunk lingers in the air, so I set the blowers to circulate the air inside the car, which keeps the smell out. The temperature outside is in the low 20s. I start the car and head back inside.
When I come out about fifteen minutes later, I find to my horror that I had
CLOSED THE GARAGE DOOR when I went back inside. Do not fear, gentle reader, the garage is not attached and no one in the house was in any danger. Anyways, I opened the door, aired out the garage for a few minutes before I held my breath and pulled my car out into the driveway. I drove a good part of the way that morning with my windows down out of paranoia. After a while, all was well in the world, or so I thought.
Since that day, there had been no skunk smell or evidence of skunk at all. Not one... Its little den was directly below where the car was, so I think I might have asphyxiated the little bugger. And right before Christmas, too...
I'm totally getting coal this year.
